I’m becoming a watcher of my emotions. Switching into observation mode helps me understand whats happening inside me (just noticing and not judging), and it helps me gain authority over my feelings. It helps me own everything I experience. Owning my feelings in this way helps me to experience cleansing effects of emotions, process them, and then change them if and when I want to. Sometimes I don’t want to. Sometimes I do. Seeing how much power I have over my life is quite incredible. Now I’m hoping to help my family understand too.
My almost sixteen-year-old daughter reeeaaaaly wants a car for her birthday. She knows she isn’t getting one, but on occasion she will still bring up her compelling arguments in favor of it. Today was one of those days. She has always had lots of words, and when she gets going about something important to her, she can really go. We typically giggle about the on-going car argument, and she says that I don’t “get it.”
Today’s occurrence of this had me listening, and nodding as usual. She was beginning to get a bit worked up about it, and I said to her something like “you know you have the power to make this less stressful if you want to.” Her immediate response was “you overestimate my abilities.” We both laughed hard. I’m hoping she can see how her thoughts are creating her feelings about it.
Earlier this week, I noticed my husband getting irritated by something that I knew he wouldn’t be proud of. I said “why are you giving that so much power?” I didn’t know if that was helpful or not at the time. Later he mentioned to me that I should do a post about “how” to do it; he reminded me about what I had said to him. (This is not that post, btw.) Offering that thought to him created awareness of his role in feeling what he was feeling. He began to own it.
It’s never the circumstance that’s “making” anyone feel anything. Rather, it’s the thoughts about the circumstance that create the feelings. A thought can be replaced anytime we have one that isn’t serving us. Learning to recognize this and be able to choose empowering or loving thoughts is life changing. I think it’s our life work. Our thoughts and feelings influence everything we do or don’t do, and results in creating every aspect of our life experience.
Our minds are crazy powerful!